Weevils, Weevils And Another Bloody Weevil
by The-madness-linked-to-a-hat84
Summary: Was a Lie in really too much to ask for?
1. Weevils, Weevils And Another Blasted Wvl

**Weevil -** **Insect**

 **A weevil is a type of beetle from the Curculionoidea superfamily. They are usually small, less than 6mm, and herbivorous. Over 60,000 species are in several families, mostly in the family Curculionidae.**

Okay wrong type of Weevil, our interest lies within that described beneath

 **Weevils were roughly humanoid in shape and size, but were a bit taller and had flattened faces with many sharp, fang-like t** **eeth. Though faster and stronger than humans, they were not extraordinarily powerful and could be injured with electricity, brute force or by Torchwood's anti-Weevil spray. Due to its frequent use, Weevils began to develop a resistance to the spray.**

We've gotta puker!"

The larger, more pre-digested pieces, tangled with in the weave of the lacing fell in submission as Ianto tapped his foot against the curb. It was perfect, just - perfect. If stepping in discarded Weevil entrails wasn't bad enough, having a young police recruit vomit over his finely polished shoes, just about topped his night. How bloody unprepared were the police force? During his time in Torchwood London, each staff member was given compulsory 'psychic training', also described as 'basic mental training, level 1' which included 'PSI Shielding' as a defence from utilisation of telepathy, so surely providing a sick bag wasn't too much to request for these types of cases?

Grimacing at the clouded streaks staining the neat leather, the young archivist mentally reminded himself to further press the issue with Gwen as she'd retained most of her reliable contacts and often liaised with former team members.

For now, all hopes of making good on Jack's promise of allowing him a later start were abandoned, with the ungodly hour of 4am looming over them. There was little any point returning home, the weevil remains accommodating the boot of the SUV required a thorough chilling prior to Owen's inventive dissection and it was never too early to begin routine reports or indeed a shower now the need arose.

Hey! - Good work back there Ianto." The sudden grasp upon the younger mans shoulder was unexpected, prompting a flinch. "Though it appears we need to delve further to enhance the weevil spray; having witnessed a display of higher level of resilience but - we can save any technical jargon for when Owen calls in. Once back at the hub, you can get cleaned up and I could, perhaps offer some assistance?" The well rehearsed, charismatic smile crept across his features, adding further depth and meaning to his suggestion.

"That shouldn't be necessary sir, I've manage to cope quite well on my own, up until now."

"You sure?"

With a subtle nod Ianto's stoic expression held tight, constructing the perfect mask to shield his inner turmoil. "Should we start heading back then?"

 **-/\/\ ^.w.^ /\/\\-**

 **2 hours earlier**

A rhythmic and well spaced vibration of a mobile phone shuffled nosily against the bedside surface, awakening a weary form from a peaceful slumber. Groaning despairingly, Ianto blindly reached across the bed muttering profanities as the tips of his fingers nudged the device a little further out of reach. The blurry vision adding to his bodies reluctance to fully opening his eyes made the caller ID difficult to make out, yet at this hour there was only one man was brave enough to wake him.

"Jack? It's -"

"Ianto?! Grab your suit, we're going hunting!"


	2. Not Enough Room For The Pair Of Us

**Undercover**

ʌndəˈkʌvə,ˈʌndə-/

Adjective

Involving secret work within a community or organization, especially for the purposes of police investigation or espionage."an undercover police operation"

* * *

The mission was simple - keep a low profile while scouting out an array of specifically named clubs in the central part of Cardiff, locating the low density energy source that had recurrently made its presence known. The team were to split into pairs while tech expert, Toshiko Sato, stayed back within the solace of the hub tracking its movements.

" _Tosh! Tell me you've got something?_ " tapping the Bluetooth device sitting within his ear Jack backed himself into a corner, tearing himself away from the thumping bass tracks and sweat slicked bodies writhing with uncapped energy.

 _"Re-collaborating the signal with your current positions and it appears to have stopped inside 'Exit Club' on Charles Street. Owen and Ianto are minutes away just entering 'Club X'. They'll need to hurry Jack, the cause of the signal isn't known for hanging around."_

 _"On it, Ianto! Owen! -"_

 _**-** **Later That Same Evening-**_

The holding cell measured six by eight, yet appearing compact by the collective shadows cast upon the concrete flooring. Their only exit was their only entrance, a solid door with locks sitting on the outside.

With his legs tucked tightly against his chest, the young archivist dropped his glance studying the blandly lit surroundings from the ground up. The night had hardly turned out in his favour, and the shooting pain across the side of his face was a clear indication that he'd be sporting and impressive bruise within the next few hours. From the get go of this morning, all Ianto had thought about was the stew he'd left gently simmering in the slow cooker, the chilled beer taking the edge off the stress he carried and the sensation of heated water caressing his fatigued limbs willing him into a peaceful slumber.

 _"What a bloody night, should have known Jack would have played a stunt like that..." Pacing fiercely back and forth Owen scowled his glance rapidly shifting around the small room_ _"…I mean a gay bar, a bloody gay bar. Not that I'm apposed to that type of life style but when I'm working it's ... Ianto?! Are you even listening to me?"_

 _"I'm pretty sure everyone heard you, Owen, just as I'm sure I heard your knuckle crack when you punched me in the face." The younger agents deadpan tone only seemed to further ignite the temper surrounding the medics tone._

 _"Consider that a lesson in personal space." Spat Owen._

 _"Then I wouldn't be doing my jobs worth as a field agent if I left you in some brawl, even though it was /you/_ _who started it."_

 _"Always with excuses and just where is Harkness anyway? You'd have thought he'd be at least trying to bail us out."_

" _He's possibly using this as some kind of team building excuse or punishment._ " Ianto's finger tips soothingly noted the swelling around his eye, keeping his expression neutral as he glanced back towards his cell mate. " _Punishment seems more fitting._ "

" _Aww give it a rest will ya, it's not like you had anything planned before all this. Picking up your suits from the dry cleaners, serving us lot coffee while we get on with the important aspects of the job, then hiding away with your files before a quick cleanup before leaving. Explain to me the difficulty in all that._ "

Outside the sun was making an early rise, spreading its rays over the council housing while peaking it's way over the short storey flats. Ianto winced as his chest painfully tightened, his fingers rhythmically brushing over the partial crease remaining in his suited trousers whilst his gaze aimlessly searched the tarnished concrete walls.

" _Look Ianto, I'm sorry I didn't mean-_ "

 _You did, or you wouldn't have said it. You're_ _just voicing what everyone else is thinking._ " No emotion carried within the younger mans fluent Welsh accent as the words simply tumbler without recognition.

A loud pounding at the door stole them away from their thoughts as a bold American voice boomed through the central slot. " _Hey kids, your prestigious captain has come to your aid!_ "

" _What took you so long_ " Owen enquired.

" _Turned out, the device we were searching for - a stray cat had it tagged around its neck. Man those things are quick."_ Thedoor squeaked open following the click of the key falling into place. "Ianto? You okay?"

" _Still fit for duty sir._ "


End file.
